THE NETHERLANDS: Supermodel Naomi Campbell testified at The Hague in a War Crimes Tribunal to prosecute Charles Taylor the former dictator of Sierra Leone. In question were “dirty little stones” that Campbell had received the night of a dinner held by Nelson Mandela, in South Africa, which both parties attended.

PREVIOUS BEST: Interview for the CEO of BP
The Board: “What qualifications and experience do you have for the position?”
Sub. Svan: “Absolutely none.”
The Board: “Excellent your hired.”

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: “A board that makes sure that risks are well-identified, properly assessed and managed…” Just FIVE days before the Deep Sea Horizon Drilling Platform exploded and sank into the Gulf of Mexico beginning the biggest enviromental disaster ever.

FAMOUS FOR: Giving the British Press the slip.

LAST KNOWN LOCATION: The last place he thinks anyone will look for him - next to the damaged oil pipe, 5,000 Feet beneath sea level.

An English Football Fan, Pavlos Joseph, was arrested in Cape Town, South Africa, for a security breach after the dismal draw in the football match between England and Al’who’eria. The fan reportedly stepped back to the English Teams’ locker room to give them a much needed dressing down for their appalling play. The event organisers failed to see the possible benefit of this. It has raised concerns about the security levels at the tournament. Meanwhile the English Team were escorted out of Town with a full Police Cavalcade.